Legatum Continuatum Class Descriptions

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  • Crime Lab. This is a very serious class in which you will learn to analyze substances, fibers, and other physical evidence, including weapon trajectories and blood spatter patterns. Students will be trained to be incredibly picky so as not to ruin evidence and end up with a mistrial. We will meet with Crown Prosecutors who will explain to us just what happens when you mess up. Believe me, it can get pretty ugly.

  • Criminals and Their Methods. In order to be a great detective you need to think like a criminal, and that’s exactly what you’ll learn in this class. We will cover types of criminals and their characteristics, from petty thieves and kleptomaniacs to terrorists and serial killers. Students will also become familiar with criminal techniques from lock-picking to creating explosions, as well as criminal motivation. Yes, there will be some overlap with the profiling class, but you won’t mind because each teacher takes a different approach and it will be really interesting. Oh, and there’s a special unit on butlers, which you won’t want to miss.

  • Cryptography and Cryptoanalysis. One of the most exciting things about being a detective is that you get to use secret languages as well as decipher other people’s. More than just challenging and fun ways to spend an afternoon, cryptography and cryptoanalysis are important tools for unearthing nefarious and twisted criminals’ plans. Learning the Navajo language encouraged but not required. Note: There is currently no teacher for this class. If you know of anyone good, please tell us so we can set up an interview ASAP.

  • Cyberforensics. In this really, really hard class, students will essentially learn how to hack. Be prepared to program in assembly language, Java, and a whole bunch of others so you can track, trap, and reverse criminal activity on computers and networks. Don’t be intimidated. We are really good at teaching this stuff and you will get it, we promise. You may even like it.

  • Disguise. Yes, this class will be fun, but it will also be a lot more challenging than you think. You will have to fool not only humans, but also facial and gait recognition software, and someday even more clever software than that. We will cover costumes, wigs, appliances like beards and implants, makeup, accessories, gestures, and gaits. Students will learn not only how to create disguises, but also how to select the right disguise for the occasion. We will also cover the care and feeding of disguises so yours will last a long, long time. Don’t even imagine that you will coast in this class.

  • Evidence. Evidence is the workhorse of criminal investigation and in this class you will learn to recognize it and treat it with respect. You may not know this, but in addition to things like fingerprints and fibers, evidence can consist of the contents of someone’s refrigerator or the poetry they read to their child. Even this syllabus could be evidence under the right circumstances. Isn’t that mind-boggling?

  • Fires and Explosions. You might think that fires and explosions are primarily the province of terrorists, but you’d be wrong. Fires and explosives are for everybody—if you’re a criminal. In this action-packed class you will learn techniques for investigating fires and explosions of all types, even really tiny ones. We will also cover fire and explosion prevention and handling as well as the psychological factors affecting criminals who resort to these cowardly methods.

  • History of Detectives. An extremely detailed look at your ancestors and their cases. We will also cover detectives who were not famous because there were a lot of great ones and they bear study too. We will also deal with the critical topic of the detective’s mystique and how to create one.

  • Legal Issues. Our job as detectives is to help prosecutors bring criminals to justice. Therefore it is imperative that we understand their needs and all the loopholes and pitfalls that can mess up their cases. In addition, we need to understand the legal issues that affect police and private detectives. You wouldn’t want to let a criminal get away with something just because you didn’t understand the law. Come prepared to do a ton of reading and participate in a moot court.

  • Logic. Evidence is great and all that, but if you don’t know how to build a case from it, it will be wasted. In this rigorous class you will learn about the types of logic and do a whole lot of practicing to make sure that the conclusions you draw from various premises are sound. Some math will be involved, so suck it up.

  • Observation and Research. Being able to look at a room or scene and repeat back everything that’s in it is not a parlor trick. It’s a critical skill for detectives. In this slightly OCD class, you will learn to note not only what is there, but everything about it, such as its color, size, shape, and difference from its previous state. Field trips make the class even more fun than it already is. We also cover research techniques because you’ll need them in order to learn about all the stuff you’re looking at, such as the difference between a ruby and a garnet and also how to tell a 1965 Ford Mustang from a 1966 model. Stuff like that.

  • Pathology. We’re sorry if you’re a bit queasy, but you’re going to have to get over it because you will be dealing with dead bodies in your career sooner or later. In this fascinating class, you will learn a lot about anatomy and physiology, and you’ll develop the ability to tell what kind of weapon made which wound. You’ll also learn a lot about bones, which is pretty interesting stuff even if you’re not a dog.

  • Forensic Photography. Forensic photographs allow investigators to recreate a crime and document evidence. Students will learn how to use every photographic device on earth, including ancient ones and those for photographing the night sky because you never know. You will also learn how to photograph both cooperative and uncooperative suspects and victims, bring out hidden evidence by clever use of lighting and cool features on Photoshop menus, write amazing captions, and master special techniques like taking pictures of trace evidence that’s pretty hard to see, including through microscopes, and recording how big or small something actually is so no one gets confused.

  • Police Procedure. Police departments all have procedures they follow to make sure crimes are properly investigated and criminals are brought to justice quickly and cleanly. In this critical class you will learn how to follow police procedure, including how to conduct an interrogation so you get a confession, how to deal with hostage situations, and how to check a book out of the precinct library. You will also learn about recruiting and working with informants, which can be really helpful even if you don’t end up working for a police department.

  • Profiling. In this psychologically oriented class, you will learn how to use evidence to tell a perpetrator’s personality type. That way you’ll know you’re looking for a certain type of person rather than just any old criminal. Come prepared to use a bunch of jargon, but don’t worry, you’ll get used to it.

  • Secrets. This is probably the weirdest class we offer here at Legatum. In keeping with the subject matter, we can’t tell you any more about it than the name implies. You’ll just have to show up to find out what it’s about.

  • Self-defense. Criminals can be really, really mean, so you have to learn to defend yourself against them. This is so much more than just a PE class. You’ll learn all kinds of martial arts, and you’ll get to wear cool pajamas and colored belts. We guarantee that by the time you graduate you’ll be breaking bricks with your hands. We’d also say you’ll be able to tear telephone books except they don’t make those much anymore and they’re really hard to find.

  • Sketching. When you can’t take a photograph for whatever reason, you need to be able to draw a person, place, or thing. Let’s say you saw someone a while back but you didn’t take a picture of them. You’ll need to draw them from memory. Or let’s say you forgot your camera, which shouldn’t happen but does. Or maybe it broke. In this class, you’ll learn how to make up for all those problems and you’ll have fun too. In fact you may want to display your work at one of our special school art shows. Fun!

  • Textual Analysis and Language. We don’t teach this class to younger students because you really need the basics first, but once you get this far you will see how useful it can be to be able to identify writers and speakers by the way they use language. You will also be exposed to various languages in this course, including Esperanto and Klingon, which believe it or not, a fair number of people use. Plus we’ll talk about secret languages and codes so you will know how to protect your words and even figure out what others are talking about when they’ve made up words no one else knows.

  • Toxicology. Because the topic of poisons is so critical to detective work, we offer an entire class on the subject instead of covering it in the crime lab course. There are a lot of poisons out there that few people have heard of, and we want you to know about those as well as the ones everyone knows about, like arsenic. You’ll learn to recognize various poisons by their characteristics and the symptoms they produce. You’ll also learn how to analyze them in the lab and to recognize and gather poisonous plants without killing yourself. This is really useful stuff!

  • Weapons. As a detective, you will not only face criminals’ weapons, but you will sometimes have to use your own. Students will learn about modern, ancient, and futuristic weapons, which they may enjoy drawing during Sketching. You will learn to use all of these, as well as how to care for them so they work when they’re supposed to and don’t injure anyone they shouldn’t. While weapons can seem glamorous, remember that they are not toys, unless they’re water pistols or BB guns, which we do cover in the class.
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